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uk Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations

What to do if…
a client or customer sends sexual messages and you feel unsafe or worried about your work

Produced and maintained by PanicStation.org Published: Last reviewed: Editorial policy UK guide

Short answer

Pause replies in that channel, keep the messages, and tell your manager, HR, or the most senior safe person at work so they can help move contact away from you or take over.

Do not do these things

  • Do not apologise, flirt back, negotiate, or “keep it friendly” just to smooth things over.
  • Do not delete messages, screenshots, chat logs, voicemails, or call records.
  • Do not move the conversation to personal accounts, private messaging apps, or off-the-clock calls.
  • Do not agree to meet them alone to “clear the air”.
  • Do not accept gifts, favours, lifts, or private invitations from them.
  • Do not assume you have to tolerate it because they are a paying client or customer.
  • Do not confront them in person if you feel unsafe, cornered, or worried they may escalate.

What to do now

  1. Create a short safety pause. If you are at work and feel shaken, step into a safer private place such as a staff room, toilet, office, or quiet corridor before replying or deciding anything.

  2. Keep a basic record.

    • Take screenshots that show the message, name or handle, date, and time.
    • Save the full thread and any attachments.
    • Write one short note with the date, time, platform, what happened, whether you replied, and whether this has happened before.

  3. Stop direct back-and-forth in the risky channel.

    • If your role allows it, do not reply further and mute the conversation.
    • If a reply is needed before someone else can take over, send one neutral work-only line such as: “Please keep communications professional and work-related.”
    • After that, do not keep discussing the sexual message with them.

  4. Move contact onto safer work systems. Ask that any necessary contact goes through work email, a shared inbox, ticketing system, CRM, reception, or another trackable channel, not your personal number or private messages.

  5. Tell the right person at work early.

    • Report it to your manager, HR, safeguarding lead, or the reporting route in your workplace policy.
    • If you work in a small business, tell the owner or most senior safe person.
    • Say plainly: “A client/customer has sent sexual messages and I do not feel comfortable handling them alone.”

  6. Ask for a clear plan for today. Ask who will take over contact, what will be said to the client or customer, whether meetings or calls will be cancelled or changed, and what you should do if they message again.

  7. Ask for practical protections. These could include another colleague handling the account, a second staff member joining any necessary contact, meetings moving online, your personal number being removed from records, or messages being routed through a shared work channel.

  8. Use the legal duty as a reason to act, not as something you have to argue. In the UK, employers must take reasonable steps to prevent sexual harassment of workers, including harassment by customers and clients. Reporting can help your employer act and make a plan.

  9. Treat threats, stalking, doxxing, or fear of being followed as a safety issue. Tell a manager immediately and ask not to be left alone with the person. If someone is in immediate danger, call 999. If it is not an emergency but you need police advice, contact 101.

  10. Keep the log going if it continues. Add only the date, time, platform, what happened, and who you told at work. Keep it factual and short.

What can wait

  • You do not need to decide today whether to raise a formal grievance, start legal action, or prove that it meets a specific legal threshold.
  • You do not need to write a perfect statement today; keeping the messages and making an initial report is enough for now.
  • You do not need to decide alone what should happen to the client or customer.
  • You can ask not to be the person handling them while a plan is made.

Important reassurance

Freezing, overthinking, or worrying you will be blamed for upsetting a client is a common reaction. You are allowed to protect your boundaries, keep contact work-related, and ask your workplace not to put you back into the same situation alone.

Scope note

These are first steps to stabilise the situation, reduce immediate risk, and hand it to the right workplace process. Later decisions about formal complaints, employment rights, police reporting, or legal options may need specialist support.

Important note

This is general information, not legal, medical, therapeutic, financial, or professional advice. If you feel at risk, prioritise immediate safety and contact emergency services or a relevant professional support service.

Additional Resources

Closely connected guides that may be useful during the same situation or its immediate aftermath.

About this guide

This guide was produced and is maintained by PanicStation.org using its published editorial process. Official and specialist sources are checked where relevant, and AI-assisted tools may be used for drafting, organisation, and consistency checks. The site operator remains responsible for publication, revision, and removal decisions.

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