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uk Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations colleague sexual jokes • sexual comments at work • workplace sexual harassment • unwanted sexual remarks • sexualised banter escalating • colleague making it worse • being targeted at work • sexual jokes about me • sexist comments at work • inappropriate comments colleague • feeling unsafe at work • worried about retaliation • manager not taking seriously • hr complaint about harassment • formal grievance sexual harassment • record of incidents • harassment through messages • boundary setting at work • workplace dignity violated • sexual harassment getting worse

What to do if…
a colleague keeps making sexual jokes or comments about you and it is getting worse

Short answer

Get yourself to a calmer, safer position at work, then start a simple record and raise it with your employer (informally or formally). If you feel at risk right now, prioritise immediate safety and getting support on-site.

Do not do these things

  • Do not feel you have to “laugh it off” or respond in kind to keep the peace.
  • Do not meet the person alone “to clear the air” if the behaviour is escalating or you feel uneasy.
  • Do not delete messages, emails, or chat logs that show what’s happening.
  • Do not send long, emotional messages while you’re in distress — keep any communication short and factual.
  • Do not assume it has to be “really serious” before you can report it.

What to do now

  1. Create a safer pause today. If you can, move your work location, stay near other people, and avoid being alone with them (especially in enclosed spaces). If you feel in immediate danger, leave the area and get help from a manager/security.
  2. Start a simple incident record (2 minutes). Note: date/time, what was said/done (exact words if you can), where it happened, who was present, and how it affected your ability to work. Keep it somewhere they cannot access (personal phone/notes, or a private folder).
  3. Preserve any written evidence safely. Keep copies of relevant emails, chat messages, meeting invites, or notes in a way that follows your workplace rules. If you’re unsure what’s allowed, ask HR (or another trusted manager) how to preserve records. Avoid doing anything that could be seen as accessing systems you should not.
  4. Use one clear boundary statement (only if you feel safe). In person or in writing: “Stop making sexual jokes/comments about me. It’s not welcome.” Then disengage. You do not owe debate, explanation, or repeated warnings.
  5. Report it using your workplace route — as soon as you can. Choose the option that feels safest:
    • Informal: tell your line manager, HR, or a named harassment/dignity contact.
    • If your manager is involved or unsafe: go to another manager, HR, your whistleblowing/ethics channel (if you have one), or your union rep.
    • Formal: raise a grievance if it’s too serious to handle informally or it’s not stopping.
  6. Ask for immediate, practical protections. Examples: different seating/rota, a different reporting line, not being scheduled alone with them, and a named contact for updates. Keep requests specific and workable.
  7. If you fear backlash, say so plainly. When you report: “I’m concerned about retaliation or being treated badly for raising this.” Ask what will be done to prevent this and how issues will be handled if it happens.
  8. Use external support if you feel stuck or overwhelmed. If you need help understanding options or how to word things, contact Acas for confidential advice on workplace processes.

What can wait

  • You do not need to decide right now whether to make a police report.
  • You do not need a perfect timeline or “proof beyond doubt” before raising it.
  • You do not need to confront them again if you’ve already made it clear or it feels unsafe.
  • You do not need to make big job decisions today (resign, transfer, “go public”).

Important reassurance

What you’re describing can be deeply unsettling — especially when it escalates — and it’s normal to feel anxious, angry, frozen, or unsure what “counts.” You’re allowed to take this seriously and to ask your workplace to stop it and protect you.

Scope note

This is first-step guidance to stabilise and reduce harm. Employers in the UK are expected to take reasonable steps to prevent sexual harassment at work, and to act when concerns are raised. If the behaviour continues, if your employer does not respond appropriately, or if you feel unsafe, you may need specialist support (union/HR advisers, legal advice, or safeguarding support).

Important note

This guide is general information, not legal advice. If you are in immediate danger or have been threatened or assaulted, prioritise getting to safety and contacting emergency services.

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