What to do if…
a partner insists on recording sex and becomes angry when you refuse

What to do now

1. Create a safer pause. End the sexual activity if you can and move somewhere with distance from them, such as a bathroom with a lock, a hallway, outside, a neighbour’s home, a shop, a café, or another place with other people nearby. Take your phone, keys, bank card, medication, and coat if you can do that without a confrontation.
2. Use one clear line, then disengage. You can say: “No. I’m not consenting to being recorded.” If they argue, mock you, block you, follow you, or get angrier, stop explaining and focus on getting away from the room or building.
3. Call emergency help if there is immediate danger. Call 999 if they are threatening violence, blocking you from leaving, trying to force sex, trying to take your phone, or you feel in immediate danger. If it is not an emergency but you want to report intimate image abuse, coercion, threats, or assault, you can usually contact police on 101 or use online reporting where available.
4. Contact specialist support from a safer device if you can.
   • In England and Wales, Rape Crisis England & Wales runs the 24/7 Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Line on 0808 500 2222 and online chat.
   • In Scotland, Rape Crisis Scotland has a helpline on 08088 010302.
   • In Northern Ireland, the Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline is 0808 802 1414. Use a friend’s phone, work phone, library computer, or another safer device if you are worried they monitor your phone.
5. If you think you may have been recorded, do not confront them to check. When you are away from them, write down or message yourself the date, time, place, what they said, what device was visible, whether any camera or phone was pointed at you, and any threats about sharing. Keep it brief and factual.
6. If anything sexual happened without your consent, or because you felt pressured or frightened, consider medical and specialist support. A Sexual Assault Referral Centre can usually offer confidential healthcare and support; in England, you can use the NHS SARC finder. In Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland, a sexual violence helpline, NHS service, GP, urgent care service, or police can help you find the right local route.
7. If they have threatened to share images or videos, treat it as intimate image abuse. Police can take reports of intimate image abuse, including threats to share; the exact law and wording varies across the UK. The Revenge Porn Helpline can support adult victims in the UK and may help with advice about reporting and removing intimate content that has been shared online.
8. Choose the next safe place for the next few hours. Pick one practical option: stay with a trusted person, go somewhere they cannot easily access, ask someone to collect you, or contact a specialist service to safety-plan before you return.

If you may want to report later, try not to delete messages, voicemails, call logs, images, or threats connected to what happened. Only keep them if doing so does not put you at more risk.