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uk Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations partner pressure to drink • pressured to take drugs • partner coercion alcohol • partner coercion substances • forced drinking by partner • pressured to get drunk • pushed to take pills • spiked drink worry • worried about consent drunk • feeling unsafe with partner • date rape drug concern • substance pressure in relationship • partner won’t take no • scared after saying no • pressured to use drugs • coerced into drinking • boundary ignored drinking • fear of sexual pressure • controlling behaviour partner

What to do if…
a partner pressures you to drink more or take substances when you do not want to

Short answer

Create a safe pause and get away from them if you can, then contact someone safe and get specialist support. If you think you were given alcohol or drugs you did not agree to, get medical help urgently.

Do not do these things

  • Do not try to “prove” your point by drinking or taking something to stop the argument.
  • Do not accept an open drink, “shot”, pill, powder, vape, or edible from them to “keep the peace”.
  • Do not drink something you did not see opened/poured, and do not leave your drink unattended.
  • Do not let them isolate you (e.g., take your phone, block the door, separate you from friends).
  • Do not negotiate your boundaries while you feel pressured, intoxicated, or scared.
  • Do not blame yourself if you already drank/took something — pressure is not consent.

What to do now

  1. Make a safe pause. Use a simple line you can repeat: “No. I’m not drinking/taking anything. I’m going to the bathroom / outside / to call a taxi.” Then move to a more public or lockable place if possible.
  2. Get physical distance. If you’re together, leave the room/venue/home if you safely can. Go to a staffed place (shop, café, hotel reception) or near other people.
  3. Contact a safe person immediately. Call or message someone you trust with a clear request: “I need you to stay on the phone and help me get home / come get me.” If you can, share your live location.
  4. If you feel trapped or at immediate risk, call emergency services. In the UK call 999. If it’s not an emergency but you need police help/advice, call 101.
  5. If you think you were drugged/spiked or you feel suddenly unwell, get urgent medical help. If severe symptoms (fainting, breathing problems, seizures, confusion), call 999. Otherwise contact NHS 111 for urgent advice. If you might want options later (medical care, support, and evidence), you can contact a Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC) for help even if you’re unsure what happened.
  6. Protect your ability to make choices. If you have already consumed anything, avoid being alone with them. Ask staff/friends to stay with you. Do not accept more drinks/food from them.
  7. Save what you already have (only if safe). Do not delete texts/DMs about drinking/drugs/sex or the situation; screenshot/save them somewhere private if you can.
  8. Write down a quick note for yourself while it’s fresh (only if safe). Time, place, what was said (“drink this”, “don’t be boring”), what you had, and any sudden symptoms. Keep it somewhere private (notes app, email draft to yourself).
  9. Reach specialist support (confidential). You can contact Rape Crisis (if sexual pressure is involved or you’re unsure), and/or the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (England) for support with coercion and safety planning. If you are in Scotland or Northern Ireland, use local services there.

What can wait

  • You do not need to decide right now whether this “counts” as abuse, coercion, or a crime.
  • You do not need to confront them, explain your reasons, or get them to agree with you tonight.
  • You do not need to make decisions about reporting, leaving the relationship, or telling family immediately.
  • You do not need to gather proof right now beyond keeping yourself safe.

Important reassurance

It is common to freeze, go quiet, or feel confused when someone pushes your boundaries — that response is your nervous system trying to protect you. Pressuring you to drink or take substances (especially to reduce your resistance) is a serious warning sign, and you deserve support without having to “justify” your no.

Scope note

These are first steps to stabilise the situation and reduce harm. Longer-term decisions (relationship, reporting, legal options, safety plans) can be made later with specialist support.

Important note

This guide is general information, not legal or medical advice. If you feel in immediate danger, call 999. If you think you may have been drugged or are unwell, seek urgent medical help. You can seek specialist support even if you are unsure what happened or do not want to report.

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