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uk Death, bereavement & serious family crises

What to do if…
a relative in hospice is near death or may have died

Produced and maintained by PanicStation.org Published: Last reviewed: Editorial policy UK guide

Short answer

Call the hospice, palliative care team, community nurse, or other out-of-hours number you were given and say you think your relative may be in the last hours or may have died. They can guide you, tell you who should come, and explain how verification of death is arranged locally.

Do not do these things

  • Do not automatically dial 999 for an expected hospice death unless there is immediate danger, the death may be unexpected, there is no clear plan, you are unsure about CPR, or you are told to.
  • Do not force food, drink, or tablets if they are drowsy, struggling to swallow, or turning away.
  • Do not change doses of anticipatory or “just in case” medicines on your own; ask the hospice nurse, doctor, community nurse, or GP service what to give and when.
  • Do not assume noisy or irregular breathing means you must fix it yourself; if you are worried or they seem uncomfortable, call the care team for symptom advice.
  • Do not rush to move the person, wash them, remove equipment, or dispose of medicines after death unless you need to for safety or a healthcare professional advises it.

What to do now

  1. Work out where they are, then call the right person.

    • If they are in a hospice building or ward: tell staff immediately using the call bell, reception, or ward phone.
    • If they are at home or in a care home under hospice or community palliative care: call the hospice 24-hour line, community palliative care number, district nurse, GP out-of-hours service, or other number on the care plan.
    • If there is immediate danger, the death seems unexpected, there is no clear care plan, or you are unsure whether to start CPR: call 999 and follow the call handler’s instructions.

  2. Use a clear phrase on the call. Say: “They are on hospice or palliative care and I think death may be very near,” or “I think they may have died.” Ask: “Who should come now, and what should I do while I wait?”

  3. Ask three practical questions and write the answers down.

    • “What should I do right now for pain, agitation, breathlessness, noisy breathing, or secretions?”
    • “What should I give or not give from the medicines we have here?”
    • “Who do I call next if their breathing changes, they seem distressed, or they die before someone arrives?”

  4. Make the next hour calmer and easier to manage.

    • Lower noise and bright light if you can.
    • Keep the room comfortably cool.
    • Limit visitors if the room feels overwhelming.
    • Speak simply and calmly; this can be comforting even if they do not respond.
    • If breathing is noisy or rattly, ask the nurse whether gently changing their position may help.

  5. If they seem distressed, call back rather than trying to manage it alone. Describe exactly what you see, such as grimacing, agitation, gasping, long pauses in breathing, rattly breathing, or being unable to swallow. If you have anticipatory medicines, follow the clinical instructions exactly and ask what to do if they do not help.

  6. If you think death has happened, keep it simple.

    • If there is a clear DNACPR form or expected-death plan, follow that plan and call the hospice, community nurse, GP service, or other number you were given.
    • If there is no clear DNACPR, you cannot find or understand the paperwork, the death seems unexpected, or you are unsure whether to start CPR, call 999 and follow the call handler’s instructions.
    • For an expected death under hospice or community palliative care, a healthcare professional will usually need to verify the death before the next practical steps can happen.

  7. While waiting, gather only the papers that may help.

    • Your relative’s full name, date of birth, and NHS number if known.
    • The DNACPR form, anticipatory medication chart, hospice care plan, and contact sheet if you have them.
    • A short note of what changed and when, for example: “breathing became irregular around 8pm; unresponsive since 9pm.”

What can wait

  • You do not need to decide about funerals, registration, government notifications, or notifying everyone immediately.
  • You do not need to tidy the home, return equipment, remove medical devices, or deal with medicines tonight unless a healthcare professional advises it.
  • You do not need to be certain about what you are seeing before calling; the hospice or community team can talk you through it.

Important reassurance

Being unsure or frightened in these moments is normal, even when death is expected. Hospice and palliative care teams are used to these calls, and asking for help is a reasonable thing to do.

Scope note

These are first steps for the hours when death seems close or may just have happened. Later decisions, including verification, certification, registering the death, funeral arrangements, and notifications, may need help from the hospice team, GP service, registrar, funeral director, or another specialist service.

Important note

This is general information, not medical, legal, financial, therapeutic, or professional advice. If the situation is unsafe, the death may be unexpected, or you are unsure what to do, seek urgent help from the hospice or palliative care team, NHS services, or emergency services as appropriate.

Additional Resources

Closely connected guides that may be useful during the same situation or its immediate aftermath.

About this guide

This guide was produced and is maintained by PanicStation.org using its published editorial process. Official and specialist sources are checked where relevant, and AI-assisted tools may be used for drafting, organisation, and consistency checks. The site operator remains responsible for publication, revision, and removal decisions.

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