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uk Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations sexual favours for opportunity • quid pro quo harassment • authority figure coercion • boss hints for sex • manager demands sexual favour • professor suggests sex for grades • landlord suggests sex for housing • abuse of power sexual pressure • coerced consent concerns • workplace sexual harassment • university staff misconduct • internship opportunity coercion • promotion tied to sex • afraid to refuse • pressured meeting alone • unwanted sexual proposition • retaliation fear • power imbalance sexual request • evidence keeping uncertainty • confidential support options

What to do if…
someone in a position of authority hints you must provide sexual favours for an opportunity

Short answer

Get yourself to a safe pause, and stop any one-to-one private contact with them for now. Keep it simple: you don’t need to argue, negotiate, or “prove” anything in the moment.

Do not do these things

  • Don’t agree “just to get out of it” or to keep the opportunity open if you don’t want to.
  • Don’t go to a private meeting, car, hotel room, or “off-site chat” with them alone.
  • Don’t delete messages, emails, DMs, calendar invites, or notes (even if you feel embarrassed or scared).
  • Don’t confront them alone. If you choose to report later, use safer channels rather than an in-person showdown.
  • Don’t make irreversible moves (quitting, withdrawing, moving out) right now just to escape the feelings—buy time first.

What to do now

  1. Create distance and end the interaction. If you’re still in contact, use a neutral exit: “I need to go now,” “I’ll follow up by email,” or “I’m not available for that.” Move to a public/safer space.
  2. Switch to written, traceable communication. If you must respond at all, keep it brief and professional, and move it to email/text where possible. Avoid being pulled into a private call or closed-door meeting.
  3. Write a ‘memory note’ immediately. Record: date/time, location, what was said (as close as you can remember), what was being offered/withheld, any implied threat, who else was nearby, and what you replied. Save it somewhere you control (for example, email it to yourself).
  4. Preserve what already exists. Save screenshots/exports of messages, emails, meeting invites, call logs, or any documents connected to the “opportunity.” If you may want to report later, keep the originals and avoid editing them.
  5. Tell one safe person today. Choose someone who can steady you. If this is linked to:
    • Work: a union rep or a trusted HR contact (only as far as you feel safe).
    • Education/training: student support/welfare, safeguarding, or a trusted staff member.
    • Housing: the organisation/agency above the person, or someone independent who can help you plan next steps.
  6. Get confidential specialist support (even if you’re unsure what you want to do). If you want a confidential space to talk, consider a sexual violence support service (for example, Rape Crisis) or a general victim support service.
  7. If you feel at immediate risk, prioritise safety. Get to somewhere safer and call 999 (or 112) if you need urgent help.

What can wait

  • You do not have to decide today whether to make a formal complaint, report to the police, or “take action.”
  • You do not need perfect wording, perfect evidence, or a clear label for what happened before getting support.
  • You do not need to confront the person or keep engaging to “confirm” what they meant.

Important reassurance

Freezing, fawning, trying to stay polite, or feeling confused are common reactions when someone uses power like this. The fact that you’re unsure, or didn’t respond “perfectly,” doesn’t make it your fault. You deserve safety and fairness without having to trade sexual access for it.

Scope note

This is first-steps-only guidance to help you stabilise, reduce risk, and keep your options open. Next steps (complaints, employment/education procedures, legal advice) can be taken later, with support, when you’re ready.

Important note

This guide is general information, not legal or medical advice. If you are in immediate danger, call 999 (or 112). If you want tailored help, consider confidential specialist support and (if relevant) independent employment, education, or legal advice.

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