PanicStation.org
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uk Personal safety & immediate danger someone says your friends need you • stranger says there is a problem • being lured away from friends • fake emergency to isolate you • someone insisting you come with them • coercion disguised as help • suspicious request to follow them • someone claims to know your friends • pressured to leave a venue • pulled toward a second location • your mate is outside claim • come quickly manipulation • possible abduction lure • possible trafficking approach • unsafe interaction in public • someone trying to separate you • leaving with a stranger risk • safety check with friends

What to do if…
someone is trying to get you to leave with them by saying your friends are looking for you or there is a problem elsewhere

Short answer

Do not go anywhere with them. Stay where there are other people, contact your friends directly yourself, and get staff or police help if the person won’t back off.

Do not do these things

  • Don’t “just quickly” step outside, around a corner, into a stairwell, lift, car park, alley, or “quiet place” with them.
  • Don’t hand them your phone “to call your friends” or let them dial numbers for you.
  • Don’t let politeness override safety (you do not need to explain or justify your refusal).
  • Don’t follow them to “prove” you’re being reasonable or to check their story.
  • Don’t accept a lift, taxi, or ride they arranged, or get into any vehicle with them.
  • Don’t separate from your bag/coat if that would leave you stuck without essentials (keys, phone, money).

What to do now

  1. Stop moving and create a safer pause. Plant yourself near other people (a queue, reception desk, shop counter, busier part of the street) or step into the nearest staffed place.
  2. Use one clear line, then repeat it. For example: “I’m not going anywhere. I’m calling my friends now.” Say it loud enough to be overheard.
  3. Call or message your friends yourself (don’t rely on the person). Use a direct call, or send a short message like: “Are you looking for me? Where are you right now?” If you can, share your live location with someone you trust.
  4. Move to staff and make it their problem. In a pub/club/café/shop, go straight to staff/security and say: “Someone is trying to get me to leave with them. I don’t know them. Please stay with me and call police if needed.”
  5. If you’re in a venue that uses it, try “Ask for Angela”. Not every venue uses or recognises it. If they look confused, switch immediately to plain language: “I feel unsafe. I need help and I need to stay here.”
  6. If the person won’t back off, treat it as an emergency. Call 999 (or 112) if you feel in immediate danger, you’re being blocked from leaving, grabbed, followed aggressively, or pressured toward an exit/vehicle.
  7. If you can’t speak safely on a 999 call, use the Silent Solution (mobile calls). Call 999, stay on the line and listen. If prompted, press 55 to confirm it’s a real emergency so you can be put through to police. If you cannot press 55, respond to questions with any safe sound (for example coughing or tapping) to show you’re there.
  8. Create witnesses and distance. Stand beside a specific person or group and say: “Can I stand with you? I’m not safe.” If you’re outside, position yourself under lights/cameras and away from roads/parking areas.
  9. If you’re in a venue, ask staff to record it and keep footage. Ask a manager to note it in the incident log and to retain relevant CCTV, and (if possible) have staff/security stay with you until your friend/ride arrives.
  10. Once you’re safe, write down what you remember. Time, place, the exact line used (“your friends are looking for you”), description, direction of travel, any vehicle details.

What can wait

  • You do not need to decide right now whether it was “definitely dangerous” or “just weird”.
  • You do not need to confront them, prove they’re lying, or get their name.
  • You do not need to make a police report immediately if you’re still shaken—getting safe comes first.
  • You do not need to continue your plans tonight; it’s OK to leave with a trusted person or get somewhere secure.
  • If it’s not an emergency but you want to tell police later, you can report non-emergency concerns by calling 101 or reporting online when you’re calm and safe.

Important reassurance

This is a common manipulation pattern: creating urgency (“there’s a problem”) and social pressure (“your friends want you”) to make you move quickly and alone. Feeling unsure, frozen, or overly polite in the moment is normal—your job is simply to slow everything down and stay around other people.

Scope note

These are first steps to avoid being isolated and to get immediate help. After you’re safe, you can decide whether to report it, speak to venue management, or adjust your travel plans.

Important note

This is general safety information, not legal advice. If you believe you are in immediate danger, call 999 (or 112) right away.

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