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uk Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations someone trying to isolate me • keeps trying to get me alone • won’t let me stay with group • pressured to go somewhere private • unwanted attention on a night out • feeling unsafe with someone nearby • persistent flirting that won’t stop • ignoring my no • won’t take rejection • being followed at a venue • targeted at a party • separated from friends risk • concerned about escalation • unsafe situation in public • need help discreetly • how to stay with friends • boundary ignored • nightlife safety concern

What to do if…
someone keeps trying to get you alone after you said you want to stay with the group

Short answer

Treat this as a safety issue: stay physically with the group (or get to staff/security) and make it harder for them to isolate you.

Do not do these things

  • Don’t “just be polite” and go somewhere quieter to end the awkwardness.
  • Don’t split off to the toilet/exit alone “for a second” if they’re hovering—take a buddy.
  • Don’t negotiate (“five minutes then I’ll come back”) if your gut says no.
  • Don’t accept a lift, “walk home,” or “shortcut” with them.
  • Don’t let embarrassment stop you from asking staff or friends for help.

What to do now

  1. Move yourself into the middle of the group. Stand with your back to friends/a wall or bar, not at the edge. If you’re seated, swap seats so you’re not nearest the exit/doorway.
  2. Say one clear line to your group (loud enough). For example: “I don’t want to be alone—can one of you stay with me?” This makes it a group problem, not a private one.
  3. Use the buddy system immediately. If you need the toilet, outside air, to get water, to collect a coat—go with someone. If your group is scattered, pick one person and stay attached to them.
  4. Change the environment, not your mind. Move to a busier, better-lit area, nearer staff/security (door staff, bar, cloakroom). Tell staff: “I feel unsafe; someone is trying to get me alone.” Ask them to help you stay separated or to help you leave safely.
  5. Use discreet venue schemes if they’re available. If the venue participates in “Ask for Angela” (often shown on posters in toilets/behind the bar), you can approach staff and ask for “Angela.” If you don’t see it, you can still ask staff directly for help.
  6. Make a quick exit plan with support. Decide with your group: relocate to a safer/public spot, or leave now together. If leaving, leave as a group or with at least one buddy and wait in a well-lit area. Don’t linger outside alone.
  7. If you feel in immediate danger, call 999. If you can’t speak safely: in the UK “Silent Solution” includes calling 999 and (on a mobile) pressing 55 when prompted to be transferred to police; on a landline, staying on the line can help call handlers assess the situation. If it’s not an emergency but you want police help/advice, call 101.
  8. If you want to talk to a specialist support worker (even if nothing “physical” happened), you can. In England & Wales, if you’re 16+, the Rape Crisis England & Wales 24/7 Rape & Sexual Abuse Support Line and online chat are available.

What can wait

  • You do not need to decide right now whether to “report,” “make a complaint,” or “prove” anything.
  • You do not need to confront the person alone or explain your reasons.
  • You do not need to sort out a perfect account of what happened—focus on getting safely through the next hour.

Important reassurance

It’s normal to freeze, fawn, or second-guess yourself when someone is pressuring you. Wanting to stay with the group is a clear boundary. You’re allowed to involve friends or staff early—before anything escalates.

Scope note

This is first-steps-only guidance for staying safe and getting support in the moment. If you later want help thinking through what happened, options, or reporting, specialist services can support you at your pace.

Important note

This guide is general information, not legal or medical advice. If you are in immediate danger or need urgent help, call 999.

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