PanicStation.org
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uk Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations help you sober up • offered a private place • pressured to go somewhere alone • feels wrong with someone • unsafe vibe on a night out • suspicious “help” offer • someone insisting to take you home • unwanted sexual pressure • consent feels unclear • worried about being drugged • spiking concern • coercion red flags • bar club safety • first date feels unsafe • stranger getting too close • friend left me alone • getting separated from friends • uncomfortable boundary pushing • fear of assault

What to do if…
someone repeatedly offers to “help you sober up” in a private place and it feels wrong

Short answer

Trust the “wrong” feeling. Get to a more public place and involve other people (staff, friends, security) right now—do not go anywhere private with them.

Do not do these things

  • Do not go to a private room, car, quiet street, or “somewhere to lie down” with them, even if they sound caring.
  • Do not accept a drink, water, vape, gum, “vitamins,” or anything they hand you (or leave unattended).
  • Do not let them “hold” your phone, bag, keys, or coat “to help you.”
  • Do not argue or explain. You don’t owe them reasons—short, boring phrases are enough (“No thanks.” “I’m meeting someone.”).
  • Do not split from the people who feel safest to you to avoid “making a scene.”

What to do now

  1. Move your body to safety first. Step into a brighter, busier area (bar counter, staff desk, reception, shop, well-lit foyer). If you can, stand near a group—anywhere public is better than anywhere private.
  2. Get staff involved immediately. Approach venue staff/security and say plainly: “I don’t feel safe with that person. Please keep them away from me.”
    • If you’re in a participating venue, you can also ask staff for “Angela” to discreetly signal you need help. If they look confused, switch straight back to the plain sentence above.
  3. Create a quick, practical exit. Ask staff to: call you a licensed taxi, walk you to your transport, or let you wait in a staff area. If you’re outside, go into the nearest staffed place (hotel lobby, late shop) and ask them to help you call someone.
  4. Contact one safe person with specifics. Text/call someone you trust: “I feel unsafe. Please stay on the phone. I’m at [venue/address]. Can you come / book me a taxi / track my trip?” If you can, share live location.
  5. If you feel in immediate danger, call 999. If it’s not an emergency but you need police help/advice, call 101.
    If you feel suddenly very unwell, confused, or “too intoxicated for what you had,” get medical help: 999 if severe/worsening, or 111 for urgent medical advice (111 online is England-only).
  6. Get specialist support without committing to reporting. If you’re in England or Wales and aged 16+, you can contact Rape Crisis England & Wales’ free 24/7 Support Line for confidential support.
    If you’re elsewhere in the UK or under 16, you can still ask 111 (or urgent care services) for local sexual assault support options, or ask venue staff/security to help you contact local services.
  7. If you might want to report later (optional): try to avoid deleting messages. If you think you may want medical/forensic options, avoid showering/changing clothes until you’ve had a chance to get advice—only if that feels manageable and safe.

What can wait

  • You do not need to decide right now whether this “counts” or what their intentions were.
  • You do not need to confront them, gather proof, or warn others publicly in the moment.
  • You do not need to make a police report tonight unless you want to or you’re in immediate danger.
  • You do not need to explain anything beyond “I don’t feel safe.”

Important reassurance

Feeling uncomfortable is enough reason to leave. People often freeze, fawn, or go quiet when something feels threatening—those are normal stress responses, not a failure. You’re allowed to choose safety over politeness.

Scope note

This is first steps only, to help you get safe and supported. Later decisions (reporting, medical follow-up, preserving evidence, talking to work/school) can be made after you’re out of the situation and have support.

Important note

This guide is general information, not legal or medical advice. If you are in immediate danger or feel very unwell, seek urgent help right away.

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