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uk Work & employment crises told i cannot bring anyone • bring someone to meeting • formal meeting at work • meeting could affect my job • disciplinary hearing alone • grievance meeting alone • investigatory meeting alone • right to be accompanied • bring a companion • bring a colleague as witness • union rep in meeting • hr meeting without support • meeting about misconduct • meeting about performance • asked to attend hearing • denied companion request • can i take someone with me • told no one can attend

What to do if…
you are told you cannot bring anyone to a formal meeting that could affect your job

Short answer

Don’t agree to go in alone until you know what kind of meeting it is. If it’s a disciplinary hearing or a qualifying grievance meeting/hearing, make a written request to be accompanied and ask to rearrange the meeting so your companion can attend.

Do not do these things

  • Do not treat it as “just an informal chat” if it could lead to warnings, dismissal, or other sanctions.
  • Do not resign on the spot, or threaten resignation, to try to regain control of the situation.
  • Do not sign anything you have not read and understood (especially “outcome letters”, “agreements”, or meeting notes you disagree with).
  • Do not argue your case by firing off long, emotional emails or messages while you’re upset.
  • Do not record the meeting without permission unless you clearly understand your workplace rules and the potential consequences. If you want a recording, ask in advance and be prepared for them to say no.

What to do now

  1. Ask (in writing) what type of meeting this is and what outcomes are on the table.
    “Please confirm whether this is investigatory, disciplinary, or a grievance meeting/hearing, and whether any formal outcome (for example a warning or dismissal) is possible.”

  2. Ask for the information you need before you attend.
    Request: the concern/allegation in writing, any evidence they’ll rely on, the relevant policy/procedure, who will be present, and whether notes/minutes will be taken (and shared).

  3. If this is a disciplinary hearing or grievance hearing, make a clear written request to be accompanied (and name who).
    State that you are making a reasonable request to bring a companion from an allowed category (for example a work colleague or an appropriate trade union representative/official).

  4. If your companion cannot attend at the proposed time, propose a reasonable alternative within 5 working days.
    Give a specific date/time that is practical (for example when those involved are normally at work and available) and within 5 working days of the original meeting date.

  5. If they say it’s “investigatory” and therefore you must attend alone, pin down the risk and ask for good-practice support anyway.
    Ask: “Can you confirm this investigation meeting will not by itself result in disciplinary action, and that any decision would only be made at a later disciplinary hearing?”
    Then ask if they will allow a companion anyway as good practice (even if they say there’s no legal right at this stage).

  6. If they still refuse and want to proceed, protect yourself calmly at the start of the meeting.
    Say: “I requested to be accompanied and that was refused. Please record that in the notes. I’ll do my best to answer, but I may need breaks and I may need to follow up in writing after reviewing any documents/evidence.”
    If you do not have the basics (what the allegation is, key documents), ask to adjourn and reschedule once you’ve had a reasonable chance to prepare.

  7. Take your own notes and ask for a copy of the meeting notes/minutes.
    Write down: date/time, who attended, what was put to you, what you said, and any deadlines given.

  8. Immediately after, write a short ‘record of events’.
    Save a private note/email to yourself: what meeting type they said it was, your companion request (and refusal), and the next steps they set.

  9. Get support quickly if the stakes are high.
    If you’re in a union, contact your rep. If not, consider contacting Acas for procedural guidance, and specialist employment advice if dismissal, discrimination, or retaliation is a realistic risk.

What can wait

  • You do not need to decide today whether to raise a formal grievance, appeal an outcome, or make any legal claim.
  • You do not need to produce a full written response until you’ve seen what the meeting is about and what evidence/policy they’re relying on.
  • You do not need to agree in the room that their notes are accurate—review them afterwards and correct anything important in writing.

Important reassurance

Being told you must attend alone can feel like you’re being boxed in. You can usually regain control by getting the meeting type confirmed, insisting on basic written information, and (where the right applies) making a clear request to be accompanied and to reschedule reasonably.

Scope note

This is first-steps guidance to prevent avoidable mistakes and buy time. It does not cover the full disciplinary/grievance process, settlement discussions, or tribunal strategy.

Important note

This is general information, not legal advice. Workplace procedures and your rights can depend on your contract, workplace policies, union arrangements, and the exact type of meeting. If there’s a credible risk of dismissal or discrimination, consider getting specialist advice promptly.

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