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What to do if…
you learn there is a custody or family court date approaching soon after a death

Short answer

Contact the court today (using the hearing notice contact details) to ask how to request an adjournment or remote attendance due to bereavement, and tell the other party (or their solicitor) in writing what you’ve asked for.

Do not do these things

  • Don’t assume the hearing will be moved automatically because there’s been a death.
  • Don’t ignore the date “until you feel able” — orders can still be made if you do not attend.
  • Don’t send long emotional messages to the other party; keep everything short, factual, and about scheduling.
  • Don’t share more detail than necessary; “death in the immediate family / close bereavement” is usually enough at this stage.
  • Don’t agree to major changes (moving arrangements, travel, passport handovers) while you’re in shock just to reduce conflict.

What to do now

  1. Pull the key details into one note (10 minutes).
    Case number, parties’ names as written, hearing date/time, how to attend (in-person/phone/video), and the court’s email/phone from the notice.

  2. Contact the court listing office / admin urgently using the details on your notice (or Find a court).
    If you can’t find contact details on the notice, use the official “Find a court or tribunal” service to locate the correct court’s contact route.
    In your message, include:

    • case number and parties’ names
    • hearing date/time
    • one-line reason: “bereavement in the immediate family”
    • what you’re requesting: short adjournment or permission to attend remotely
    • what confirmation you can provide now (or soon): for example, a brief note from the registrar/funeral director, or the death certificate when available

  3. Ask the court what they require to decide it (and do that, fast).
    Different Family Courts handle this differently. The court may accept a short written request by email, or they may require a formal application in the case (often a directions application in existing proceedings, commonly using Form C2).
    Ask explicitly:

    • “Do I need to file an application, and if so which form and how do I file it?”
    • “Do you require the other party’s position (agree/oppose)?”
    • “If the judge won’t decide before the day, should I still attend and renew the request at the start?”

  4. Tell the other party (or their solicitor) the same day — briefly, in writing.
    Example: “A close family bereavement has occurred. I’ve contacted the court today to request [adjournment / remote attendance] for the hearing on [date]. I’ll update you when I receive the court’s decision.”
    Keep a copy/screenshot.

  5. If the hearing is likely to go ahead, prepare a “minimum viable” plan.

    • If you cannot physically attend, ask again about remote attendance.
    • Draft a one-page note you can read: (a) the bereavement, (b) what you’re requesting (short adjournment/limited directions), (c) what you can realistically do right now, (d) any urgent child-safety issue only if it truly exists.

  6. If the death changes the child’s immediate care arrangements, flag that clearly.
    If the person who died was a key caregiver/household adult, tell the court and the other party there may be short-term disruption, and ask for the minimum practical directions needed to keep things stable until everyone can participate properly.

  7. Get practical support if you’re unrepresented.
    If you don’t have a solicitor, consider contacting a court support charity that helps people representing themselves for help understanding what the court is asking you to file and how to keep communications short and appropriate.

What can wait

  • You do not need to “solve the whole case” this week.
  • You do not need to write long statements or gather every document today.
  • You can delay negotiations and detailed proposals until you have the court’s directions or a new date.

Important reassurance

Bereavement can cause panic, brain-fog, and a sense that you must fix everything immediately. Right now, the goal is simpler: make sure the court knows, reduce the risk of orders being made in your absence, and avoid big irreversible decisions while you’re overwhelmed.

Scope note

This is first-steps-only guidance for the immediate days around a hearing date. Later decisions (final arrangements, evidence, strategy) may need specialist legal advice.

Important note

This is general information, not legal advice. Family Court practice can vary by court and judge, and timeframes can be tight. If you are unsure what to submit or how to notify the other party, contact the court using the details on your hearing notice and ask what they require for an adjournment or remote attendance request.

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