What to do if…
you need to notify your employer or school about a death in your family

What to do now

1. Choose one contact for each place and send a minimal message.
   For work, use your line manager, HR, or the usual absence reporting route. For school, college, or university, use the attendance office, tutor, course administrator, student support, or the contact your setting normally uses.

   Suggested wording:

   “Hello, there has been a death in my family. I cannot [work/attend] from [today]. I do not know the full timescale yet, but I will update you by [date/time]. Please confirm the best way to record this absence and any forms or evidence you may need later. I would prefer to keep details private right now.”

2. At work, ask how the absence can be recorded.
   Ask: “Can you confirm whether this should be recorded as bereavement leave, compassionate leave, time off for dependants, annual leave, unpaid leave, or sick leave if I am not fit to work?”
   In the UK, many employers have a bereavement or compassionate leave policy. People legally classed as employees may also have a right to a reasonable amount of time off for an emergency involving a dependant, including when a dependant dies. Pay and the type of leave can vary, so ask for the option in writing.

3. If you need to be away today, say that clearly and give one update time.
   Use: “I am not fit to work or attend today. I will update you by [time/date].”
   This gives them enough information to record the absence without forcing you into a long exchange.

4. If your child has died, ask HR about statutory parental bereavement leave and pay.
   Employees may have a right to statutory parental bereavement leave if their child dies under 18, if a baby dies after birth, or if there is a stillbirth after 24 weeks of pregnancy. Pay has eligibility rules, so ask HR to confirm what applies and what notice they need.

5. For school, college, or university, ask for the immediate practical changes you need.
   Choose only what matters this week, for example:

   • “Please record my absence for [dates] and tell me who I should update.”
   • “Please pause or extend deadlines, exams, placement requirements, or attendance meetings this week.”
   • “Please tell me what evidence, if any, you need later. I cannot provide documents today.”

6. Keep a simple record.
   Save the email, screenshot the message, or note the date, time, and name of anyone you spoke to. This is only to reduce confusion later.

7. If someone pressures you for details, repeat the boundary.
   Use: “I am not ready to discuss details. Please confirm the absence process and I will update you by [date/time].”