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uk Death, bereavement & serious family crises transfer remains request • move the body request • funeral home request sudden • mortuary calling about remains • unexpected funeral director contact • someone says they have the body • burial transport request • repatriation request unsure • ashes transfer request • suspicious invoice after death • bereavement scam concern • is this legitimate call • verifying funeral arrangements • loved one died paperwork confusion • pressure to pay for transport • unknown firm contacting family • identity of deceased confirmation • next of kin authorisation question

What to do if…
you receive a request to transfer a loved one’s remains after they die and you are unsure it is legitimate

Short answer

Pause the transfer and verify independently by contacting the hospital/mortuary/care home (or the funeral director you chose) using a trusted number — not the one you were given by the caller.

Do not do these things

  • Do not agree to a transfer, collection, or “courier” until you have verified who currently has custody of the person’s remains.
  • Do not pay “urgent fees” or share card/bank details because someone says there’s a deadline.
  • Do not share passports, driving licences, or copies of documents with an unverified person or firm.
  • Do not let anyone collect from your home (or deliver paperwork to sign at the door) if you are unsure who they are.
  • Do not rely on caller ID, emails, or logos as proof — these can be faked.

What to do now

  1. Create a safe pause. Say: “I can’t authorise anything right now. I will call back through an official number.” Then end the call/message.
  2. Write down what you were told (before it blurs). Name of firm/person, phone numbers, email, claimed location of the deceased, what they want you to do, any reference numbers, and any payment details they provided.
  3. Find out who currently has custody — using a trusted route.
    • If the death happened in a hospital/care home/hospice: call the main switchboard number from the organisation’s official website and ask for the bereavement office or mortuary.
    • If you already instructed a funeral director: call that funeral director (using the number you already know/used) and ask if they have been contacted about any transfer request.
  4. Ask the custodian to confirm what (if anything) is authorised right now. For example:
    • “Is the deceased in your care right now?”
    • “Do you have a funeral director recorded for this person? If so, which one?”
    • “Has anyone asked you to release or transfer the person? If yes, who, and where to?”
    • “What do you require before you will release the person to a funeral director (and how do you normally receive that authorisation)?”
  5. If a coroner is involved, slow down further. If the death is being dealt with by the coroner, the body is often not released for transfer until the coroner’s process allows it. Ask the custodian (or your chosen funeral director) whether the coroner is involved and what is needed next.
  6. If the request involves removal out of England or Wales, treat it as “extra verification needed.” Local coroner areas usually have a process for permission/notice to remove a body out of England/Wales, and your funeral director typically handles the relevant paperwork. Do not proceed until your chosen funeral director (or the coroner’s office via an official number) confirms what is required in your area.
  7. If money or personal data may already have been shared, act immediately to limit harm.
    • Call your bank/card provider using the number on your card/app and tell them you may have been targeted by a scam connected to bereavement arrangements.
    • Change passwords for any email account you used to communicate, and enable two-factor authentication if you can.
  8. Report the suspicious contact so it’s on record (even if you didn’t lose money).
    • If you’re in England, Wales, or Northern Ireland, report suspected fraud via Report Fraud (online) or by phone (0300 123 2040).
    • If you’re in Scotland, report to Police Scotland via 101.
    • If you feel threatened or someone is at your door, call 999.

What can wait

  • You do not need to decide today which funeral director to use (or whether to move the person) to do basic verification.
  • You do not need to argue with the caller or “prove” it’s a scam — it’s enough to pause and verify independently.
  • You do not need to sign anything or send documents until you’ve confirmed custody and the correct process with the official custodian.

Important reassurance

It’s common to feel pressured, confused, or guilty when someone contacts you about “urgent” arrangements. Legitimate services will accept a pause while you verify, and it is reasonable to insist on calling back through trusted numbers.

Scope note

This is first-steps-only guidance to help you avoid an irreversible mistake and confirm who has lawful custody. Later steps (repatriation, payment disputes, formal complaints, legal issues) may need specialist support.

Important note

This is general information, not legal advice. Processes vary across the UK (and can differ by local coroner area). If anything feels off, prioritise independent verification and your safety.

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