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uk Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations reproductive coercion • forced pregnancy • partner tampering with contraception • contraception sabotage • condom tampering • stealthing worries • pregnancy pressure • partner controls birth control • partner hiding pills • partner refusing condoms • fear of being trapped by pregnancy • controlling behaviour in relationship • coercive control signs • sexual consent uncertainty • afraid to say no to sex • worried about pregnancy risk • want discreet contraception help • partner monitors phone • shared location tracking worry • relationship feels unsafe

What to do if…
you suspect your partner is trying to get you pregnant or prevent pregnancy against your wishes

Short answer

Get to a safer pause and contact confidential specialist support from a device/account your partner cannot monitor. If pregnancy is possible, seek confidential sexual health care as soon as you safely can.

Do not do these things

  • Do not confront them in the moment if you fear it could escalate, especially if they have threatened you, blocked you from leaving, or monitor your phone.
  • Do not make big contraception changes without clinical advice if pregnancy is possible — get medical advice as soon as you safely can.
  • Do not assume “it’s just a misunderstanding” if your consent is being bypassed or pressured — treat this as a safety issue.
  • Do not use a shared device or shared accounts (for example shared Apple/Google accounts, shared location sharing, shared tablet/laptop) to search for help if monitoring is possible.
  • Do not destroy messages, packaging, photos, or notes in a panic if you may want support later.

What to do now

  1. Create a safer pause. If you can, move to a place where you can think without them present (bathroom with the door locked, a short walk, a public place, a friend’s home). If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
  2. Use a safer way to reach help. If there’s any chance your phone is monitored, use a trusted friend’s phone, a work phone, or a library device. Avoid shared accounts; consider turning off location sharing only if it won’t escalate risk.
  3. Contact a domestic abuse helpline that fits you. Choose the option that feels safest and most relevant:
    • National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge) (primarily for women)
    • Men’s Advice Line (for men, including trans and non-binary people who feel this is the right service)
    • Galop (for LGBT+ people experiencing abuse or violence) Ask for safety planning that includes how to communicate safely, what to do if monitoring is suspected, and what to prepare if you need to leave quickly.
  4. Get confidential contraception and sexual health support. Contact an NHS sexual health clinic, contraception service, or your GP and say you need confidential advice because you’re worried a partner may be interfering with contraception or consent. Ask about:
    • Pregnancy testing and what timing makes sense for you.
    • Emergency contraception if relevant.
    • Contraception methods that are harder to interfere with, if you want them.
    • STI testing if there was condom interference, non-consensual sex, or pressure you couldn’t safely refuse.
  5. If anything sexual happened without your consent (or you’re not sure), consider a SARC. A Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC) can offer confidential medical and practical support. You do not have to report to police to get help.
  6. Make a quick record somewhere safe. If it’s safe, note dates and what made you concerned (missing pills, damaged condoms, threats/pressure, refusal to let you use contraception). Store it somewhere your partner cannot access (with a trusted person, or on paper kept outside the home).
  7. Tell one safe person and set a check-in. Keep it simple: “I’m not safe to talk freely, but I’m worried my partner is interfering with contraception.” Agree a neutral code word meaning “call me” or “I need help”.
  8. If you want specialist sexual violence support, contact Rape Crisis. You can talk confidentially about what happened, what you want now, and what can wait — without pressure to report.

What can wait

  • You do not have to decide today whether to report to police, end the relationship, move out, or tell family.
  • You do not have to prove anything to get help from a helpline, SARC, GP, or sexual health clinic.
  • You can decide later whether you want to keep documentation or speak to an advocate about legal options.

Important reassurance

Feeling confused, unsure, or like you’re “overreacting” is common when someone undermines your reproductive choices. Wanting control over if/when you become pregnant is basic bodily autonomy — you deserve support, privacy, and safety.

Scope note

These are first steps to reduce immediate risk, protect your options, and connect you with confidential support. Ongoing decisions (relationship, housing, legal action) can be made later with specialist help.

Important note

This is general information, not medical or legal advice. If you’re in immediate danger, call 999. If pregnancy or health harm is possible, seek urgent clinical care from an NHS service as soon as you safely can.

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