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uk Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations child told me sexual comment • adult made sexual request to child • child disclosure sexual abuse • unsure what to do next • non-contact sexual abuse • grooming comment to child • adult said inappropriate things • my child confided in me • child said an adult asked for photos • sexual messages to my child • online grooming suspicion • adult propositioned my child • child uncomfortable with adult • safeguarding next steps parent • worried about child safety • what to say when child tells you • keep child safe tonight • i don’t know if it counts • fear of overreacting • scared to report

What to do if…
your child tells you an adult made a sexual comment or request and you feel unsure what to do next

Short answer

Make your child safe and supported first, and avoid “investigating” it yourself. Then get confidential safeguarding advice the same day from a specialist service (or Children’s Social Care/police if there’s immediate risk).

Do not do these things

  • Do not confront the adult or warn them (it can increase risk and can affect what happens next).
  • Do not question your child repeatedly or push for details (it can confuse or distress them).
  • Do not promise “I won’t tell anyone” (instead promise you’ll keep them safe).
  • Do not ask your child to recreate messages, pose, or “show you” anything.
  • Do not share the story in group chats/social media or with people who don’t need to know.
  • Do not send the adult angry texts/calls “to get it in writing”.

What to do now

  1. Get to a calm, private moment with your child. Say something simple: “Thank you for telling me. You’re not in trouble. I’m glad you told me.”
  2. Make an immediate safety boundary. Stop any contact with that adult for now (no visits, lifts, babysitting, DMs). If the adult is in your household or will be around soon, move your child to a safer place and ensure they are not alone with them.
  3. Write down what you were told (once). As soon as you can, note the date/time, who was present, and your child’s words as closely as possible. Keep it factual.
  4. If there are messages/images, preserve what already exists without digging. Don’t forward or re-share. Don’t delete conversations. If it’s safe to do so, take screenshots of key items and keep the device/account as-is.
  5. Get specialist safeguarding advice today (even if you feel unsure). Options:
    • NSPCC Helpline (confidential advice): 0808 800 5000 or email help@nspcc.org.uk.
    • Your local council’s Children’s Social Care to make a safeguarding referral if you think a child may be at risk (you can ask for advice even if you feel uncertain).
  6. If you think anyone is in immediate danger, call 999. If it’s not an emergency but you believe a crime may have occurred, contact police on 101 or report online.
  7. If the adult is connected to a school/club/faith group, contact their safeguarding lead. Ask for the safeguarding lead/officer (a DSL at schools). Keep it brief and factual, and focus on immediate safety.

What can wait

  • You do not need to decide right now whether to make a formal statement, press charges, or “prove” anything.
  • You do not need to work out whether it was “serious enough” before asking for safeguarding advice.
  • You do not need to tell extended family, other parents, or the adult’s friends today.
  • You do not need to have a perfect plan for therapy or long-term support right now.

Important reassurance

Feeling shocked, unsure, or worried about “overreacting” is common. Your job in this moment is not to investigate—it’s to keep your child safe, respond calmly, and get the right professionals to advise you.

Scope note

These are first steps only. Follow-on steps (support, reporting, school arrangements, and longer-term care) depend on your child’s age, what was said, and whether the adult still has access to children.

Important note

This is general information, not legal or clinical advice. If you believe a child is at risk, contact safeguarding professionals urgently; in an emergency call 999.

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