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us Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations coworker sexual jokes • sexual comments at work • workplace sexual harassment • unwanted sexual remarks • sexualised teasing escalating • coworker targeting me • inappropriate jokes about me • hostile work environment • harassment in workplace • harassment via texts at work • worried about retaliation • report to hr harassment • supervisor harassment complaint • keep record of incidents • sexual harassment getting worse • boundaries with coworker • unsafe at work • eeoc harassment • file a charge eeoc • retaliation protections

What to do if…
a colleague keeps making sexual jokes or comments about you and it is getting worse

Short answer

Get to a safer, calmer position at work, start a basic record, and report it through your employer’s process (supervisor/HR) as soon as you can. If you feel at risk right now, prioritise immediate safety and getting on-site help.

Do not do these things

  • Do not feel you have to play along to avoid being labelled “difficult.”
  • Do not confront them alone if the behaviour is escalating or you feel unsafe.
  • Do not delete texts, emails, DMs, or chat messages connected to what’s happening.
  • Do not send long, heated messages while you’re panicking — keep any communication short and factual.
  • Do not assume you must “wait until it’s severe” to report it.

What to do now

  1. Create a safer pause today. Move to a more public area, stay near supportive coworkers, and avoid being alone with them where possible. If you feel in immediate danger, leave the area and contact security/management.
  2. Start a simple incident record (2 minutes). Write: date/time, what happened (exact words if possible), location, witnesses, and how it affected you at work. Keep it somewhere private (personal notes, not accessible to them).
  3. Preserve written evidence safely. Keep copies of messages, emails, or work chat logs that you can access legitimately. If you’re unsure what your employer allows (screenshots, forwarding, printing), ask HR/IT how to preserve records. Do not try to access anything you’re not authorised to access.
  4. Use one clear boundary statement (only if it feels safe). Example: “Stop making sexual jokes/comments about me. It’s not welcome.” Then disengage. You do not owe a debate.
  5. Report through your employer’s policy as soon as you can. Common options:
    • Tell your supervisor or manager (or a different manager if yours is involved).
    • Contact HR or use any hotline/ethics reporting channel your workplace provides.
    • If you’re in a union, consider contacting your union rep to support you while reporting.
  6. Ask for immediate protective changes. Examples: schedule/shift separation, different seating, a different reporting line, a no-contact instruction at work, or a specific manager assigned to handle updates. Keep requests practical and concrete.
  7. Name retaliation concerns up front. When you report: “I’m worried about retaliation for raising this.” Ask for clear expectations about what retaliation looks like, how to report it quickly, and who will handle it.
  8. If your workplace doesn’t act, consider an external complaint route. Sexual harassment at work can fall under federal protections enforced by the EEOC. In harassment cases, EEOC time limits are often 180 days from the last incident, and extended to 300 days in many places (depending on state/local coverage) — so if things are escalating, it can help to get advice early. Some states or local fair-employment agencies also take charges and can affect deadlines.

What can wait

  • You do not need to decide today whether to quit, transfer, or pursue a lawsuit.
  • You do not need a perfectly written statement or every detail to start reporting.
  • You do not need to confront the coworker again if it feels unsafe.
  • You do not need to decide now whether to report to police (unless you were threatened or assaulted).

Important reassurance

Escalating sexual jokes or comments can feel violating and destabilizing, especially when you’re targeted. It’s common to second-guess yourself or freeze in the moment. You’re allowed to take it seriously and to ask your employer to stop it and protect you.

Scope note

This is first-step guidance to stabilize and reduce harm. If the behavior continues, your employer doesn’t respond appropriately, or you fear retaliation, consider specialist support (HR/union, legal aid, or an employment attorney) and using external reporting options where appropriate.

Important note

This guide is general information, not legal advice. If you are in immediate danger or have been threatened or assaulted, prioritize safety and contact emergency services.

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