us Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations

What to do if…
a friend tells you they were sexually assaulted and you do not know what to do first

Produced and maintained by PanicStation.org Published: 30 May 2026 Last reviewed: 17 July 2026 Editorial policy USA guide

Short answer

Stay present if they want you there, believe them, and listen without investigating. If there is an emergency requiring immediate police, fire, or ambulance help, dial 911.

Do not do these things

Do not ask why they did not leave, fight back, report, or tell someone sooner.
Do not ask for a detailed account or try to check facts.
Do not pressure them to report to police, confront anyone, or tell other people.
Do not contact the person they named or mutual friends to gather information.
Do not share their story, messages, photos, or name without their permission.
Do not promise absolute secrecy if a child, a vulnerable adult, immediate danger, or a professional reporting duty may be involved.

What to do now

Say a few supportive words.
Try: “I’m sorry this happened. I believe you. It was not your fault. Thank you for telling me.”
Check immediate safety.
Ask: “Are you safe right now?” and “Would you like help getting somewhere safer?”
If there is an emergency requiring immediate police, fire, or ambulance help, dial 911.
Let them choose the kind of support they want.
Ask: “Would you like me to listen, stay with you, help you call someone, or help you look at options?”
Offer specialist support without pressure.
RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline is available 24/7 for survivors and loved ones:
- Call 800-656-HOPE (4673)
- Use the live chat on RAINN’s hotline page
- Text HOPE to 64673
Offer medical care as an option.
If the assault may have happened recently, ask whether they want help finding medical care. They do not need to decide about a police report before asking for care. RAINN can help identify a local clinic or hospital.
Keep any evidence-preservation suggestion optional.
If the assault may have happened recently and they want to keep options open, a hotline advocate or medical professional can explain whether avoiding washing or changing clothes may help; do not pressure them or delay urgent care.
Protect their privacy and ask before involving anyone else.
Before calling, messaging, or inviting someone over, ask: “Would you like me to do that?” If they are a child or vulnerable adult, if someone may be in immediate danger, or if you may have a professional reporting duty, get prompt specialist guidance about the safest next step.

What can wait

They do not need to decide right now whether to report to police.
They do not need to tell you every detail.
You do not need to investigate, research laws, or gather information tonight.
Longer-term decisions about formal reports, work or campus processes, and ongoing support can wait until they are safer and have specialist help if they want it.

Important reassurance

You do not need perfect words or a complete plan. Believing them, listening without judgment, and respecting their choices are useful first steps.

Scope note

These are first steps only. Later decisions may need help from a local sexual assault service, a hotline advocate, a medical professional, or another appropriate specialist.

Important note

This guide provides general information for immediate first steps. It is not legal, medical, therapeutic, financial, or other professional advice. If there is an emergency requiring immediate police, fire, or ambulance help, dial 911.

Additional Resources

About this guide

This guide was produced and is maintained by PanicStation.org using its published editorial process. Official and specialist sources are checked where relevant, and AI-assisted tools may be used for drafting, organisation, and consistency checks. The site operator remains responsible for publication, revision, and removal decisions.

Support us