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us Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations partner pressure to drink • pressured to take drugs • partner coercion alcohol • partner coercion substances • forced drinking by partner • pressured to get drunk • pushed to take pills • spiked drink worry • worried about consent drunk • feeling unsafe with partner • date rape drug concern • substance pressure in relationship • partner won’t take no • scared after saying no • pressured to use drugs • coerced into drinking • boundary ignored drinking • fear of sexual pressure • drug facilitated assault worry

What to do if…
a partner pressures you to drink more or take substances when you do not want to

Short answer

Get to a safer pause away from them, contact someone safe, and get help if you feel at risk or unwell. If you think you were given alcohol or drugs you didn’t agree to, seek urgent medical care.

Do not do these things

  • Do not take a drink/drug to end the conflict or to “prove” anything.
  • Do not accept an open drink, “shot”, pill, powder, vape, or edible from them.
  • Do not drink something you did not see opened/poured, and do not leave your drink unattended.
  • Do not let them isolate you from friends, staff, or your phone/transport.
  • Do not debate your boundaries while you feel pressured, intoxicated, or scared.
  • Do not blame yourself if you already drank/took something — pressure is not consent.

What to do now

  1. Create a safe pause. Use a short repeatable line: “No. I’m not drinking/taking anything. I’m stepping outside / going to the restroom / calling a ride.” Move toward people or a lockable room.
  2. Put distance between you and them. Leave the room/venue/home if you can do so safely. Go to a staffed place (hotel desk, store, bar staff, campus security desk) and ask for help getting to your transportation.
  3. Call/text a safe person and make a clear request. “Please stay on the phone and help me leave,” or “Can you pick me up now?” Share your location if you can.
  4. If you feel trapped or in immediate danger, call 911. If you’re in a public place, ask staff/security to call for you and to stay nearby until help arrives.
  5. If you suspect drugging/spiking or you feel suddenly unwell, get urgent medical care. For severe symptoms (passing out, trouble breathing, seizures, extreme confusion), call 911. Otherwise, consider going to an ER (often best for sudden serious symptoms or suspected drugging). Tell clinicians you’re concerned about possible drugging and that you want help staying safe.
  6. If sexual pressure is part of what’s happening (or you’re unsure), reach confidential specialist support. You can contact RAINN (sexual assault hotline and online chat) for immediate, confidential guidance. You can also contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help with coercion and safety planning.
  7. Protect your ability to choose. If you already consumed anything, avoid being alone with them. Ask a friend/staff to stay with you. Decline any further food/drinks from them.
  8. Save what you already have (only if safe). Do not delete texts/DMs about drinking/drugs/sex or the situation; screenshot/save them somewhere private if you can.
  9. Make a quick private record (only if safe). Note time/place, what was said/done, what you consumed, and any sudden symptoms. Save it somewhere private (notes app or email draft to yourself).

What can wait

  • You do not have to decide right now what label fits (abuse, coercion, assault).
  • You do not have to confront them, explain your reasons, or persuade them.
  • You do not have to decide tonight about reporting, ending the relationship, or telling others.
  • You do not have to collect proof right now beyond keeping yourself safe and getting care.

Important reassurance

Freezing, going along to reduce conflict, or feeling unsure afterward are common responses to pressure and fear. Someone pushing you to drink or take substances — especially if it’s tied to sex or control — is a serious red flag, and you deserve support without needing to “earn” it.

Scope note

These are first steps to reduce harm and stabilize. Later decisions (relationship, reporting, protective steps) can be made with specialist support when you feel safer.

Important note

This guide is general information, not legal or medical advice. If you are in immediate danger call 911. If you feel unwell or think you may have been drugged, seek urgent medical care. You can seek confidential support even if you are unsure what happened or do not want to report.

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