PanicStation.org
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us Death, bereavement & serious family crises relative in hospice • hospice end of life • death seems near • last days of life • last hours of life • what to do when dying • hospice at home • call hospice not 911 • on call hospice nurse • unsure what to do • breathing changes dying • no eating or drinking • restlessness at end of life • family at bedside • imminent death signs • what happens after death • pronouncement of death • confirmation of death • dnr form • polst form

What to do if…
a relative is in hospice and you are unsure what to do when death seems near

Short answer

Call the hospice agency’s 24/7 on-call number and say death seems close (or you think your relative has died) — they will guide comfort care and send a clinician to help with the immediate next steps.

Do not do these things

  • Do not automatically call 911 for an expected hospice death (unless hospice tells you to, the death seems unexpected, or there’s immediate danger).
  • Do not start CPR if there is a DNR/POLST indicating no resuscitation, or if hospice has told you not to.
  • Do not force food, fluids, or pills if swallowing is unsafe or they’re unresponsive.
  • Do not increase comfort meds beyond what hospice instructed — call the on-call nurse for real-time guidance.
  • Do not rush to move the person, clean the body, or remove medical equipment before hospice advises what to do.

What to do now

  1. Work out where they are, then make the right call.
    • If they are in an inpatient hospice unit, nursing facility, or hospital: notify staff immediately (call bell/front desk). Staff will guide you and contact the right clinician.
    • If they are at home under hospice: call the hospice agency’s 24/7 on-call number (usually in the hospice folder, on a magnet, or in admission paperwork).
  2. Use one clear sentence on the call.
    Say: “My family member is on hospice and I think they may be in the last hours / I think they may have died.”
  3. Ask hospice for immediate, concrete instructions (and write them down).
    • “What should I do right now to keep them comfortable (pain, anxiety/restlessness, breathing distress, secretions)?”
    • “Exactly what medicines should I give (or not give), and when should I call back?”
    • “If death happens before you arrive, what should I do first?”
  4. Make the paperwork easy to find and show.
    • Put any DNR and/or POLST in a visible spot (often families keep it on the fridge or near the bed).
    • Keep the medication list and hospice contact sheet next to your phone.
  5. If they look uncomfortable, treat it as “call hospice now,” not “handle it alone.”
    • Describe what you see (gasping, long pauses, grimacing, agitation, rattling sounds, skin changes).
    • Follow the nurse’s instructions for comfort meds you already have at home.
  6. If you believe death has happened and it’s an expected hospice death at home, call hospice first.
    • Hospice will send a nurse/clinician to confirm and document the death and guide the next steps according to your state and hospice policy.
    • Call 911 if hospice instructs you to, the death seems unexpected, or there is any immediate danger/unsafe situation.
  7. Have one practical detail ready for hospice.
    • The name/number of the funeral home (if already chosen), or ask hospice how to proceed if you haven’t chosen one yet.
    • Basic ID details for your relative (full legal name, date of birth).

What can wait

  • You do not need to notify everyone right away.
  • You do not need to decide about memorial plans, obituaries, or legal/estate steps tonight.
  • You do not need to organize documents or make a “perfect” set of calls — hospice can guide the sequence.

Important reassurance

Many people feel scared, unsure, or “frozen” when death looks close, even if it’s expected. Hospice teams are built for this exact moment — calling the on-call nurse is the right move, and you can ask for step-by-step direction.

Scope note

This is first-steps guidance for the hours when death seems near (or has just occurred). Later steps (death certificates, notifications, and ongoing grief support) vary by state and situation and can be handled in order once you’ve gotten through the first few hours.

Important note

This is general information, not medical or legal advice. If you think the death is unexpected, there is immediate danger, or you’re unsure what you’re seeing, seek urgent help (call hospice and/or emergency services as appropriate).

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