PanicStation.org
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us Personal safety & immediate danger ex keeps showing up • acquaintance showing up repeatedly • someone appears at my work • someone appears at my gym • unwanted encounters in public • being followed on my commute • person waiting near my car • repeated run-ins not accidental • feeling watched when out • stalking safety steps • harassment in public places • someone knows my routine • worried about escalation • document stalking incidents • preserve messages and screenshots • safety plan for daily routes • unsure if this is stalking • anxious after seeing them again • stay-away order basics

What to do if…
an ex or acquaintance starts showing up near places you regularly go

Short answer

Treat repeated “chance” appearances as a safety risk: create distance, tell someone, start documenting a pattern, and contact law enforcement if you feel unsafe. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911.

Do not do these things

  • Don’t confront them alone, try to negotiate, or agree to meet “to talk it out.”
  • Don’t try to investigate or “prove it” by following them or setting up a trap.
  • Don’t post real-time location/routine details (check-ins, stories, live updates).
  • Don’t delete texts/DMs/voicemails or throw away notes/gifts left for you.
  • Don’t block them until you’ve saved what you might need (screenshots/voicemails); consider muting instead.
  • Don’t assume you need an explicit threat for it to be serious — repeated unwanted behavior that creates fear or safety concern still matters.
  • Don’t make big irreversible decisions in panic (moving, quitting) before you’ve gotten support and a plan.

What to do now

  1. Get to a safer pause. If you’ve just spotted them, go into a staffed, public place and stay around other people. If you feel threatened or think they may follow you, call 911.
  2. Tell one person right now and set check-ins. Share what’s happening and where you are. Ask someone to stay on the phone while you travel, meet you, or do a simple “arrived safely” check-in plan.
  3. Alert the places you frequent (actionable requests). Tell your workplace front desk/security, campus security, daycare/school office, gym staff, or building manager: who the person is, what they look like, and what you want (don’t confirm your schedule, call you if they appear, walk you to your car, call police if you request it).
  4. Start a simple incident log and preserve evidence. Record each sighting/contact: date/time, location, what happened, any witnesses, screenshots, photos you can safely take, and any report numbers. This helps show a pattern.
  5. Contact law enforcement (even if you’re unsure). If it’s not an emergency, use your local police department’s non-emergency phone line or online reporting (the number and options vary by city/county). Be clear it’s repeated, includes showing up near your routine places, and is causing fear/safety concerns.
  6. Ask about protection options where you live (names vary). Many states have civil protection orders you request through state courts (often called protective orders/restraining orders). Criminal no-contact orders are typically tied to a criminal case. Ask an advocate or the court’s self-help resources what applies locally.
  7. Reduce predictability for the next week (small changes). Vary departure times, use different entrances, park in well-lit areas, ask for an escort, avoid isolated parking structures/stairwells, and don’t walk to your car alone if you can help it.
  8. Close common “routine leaks” (phone + accounts). Turn off location sharing you don’t need, review app permissions, and change passwords (email first) with two-factor authentication. If you suspect they had access to your phone/accounts, use a trusted device to reset credentials.
  9. Use victim support so you’re not doing this alone.
    • VictimConnect (confidential referrals): phone/text 855-4-VICTIM (855-484-2846).
    • If this involves an ex-partner or dating relationship, The National Domestic Violence Hotline can help with safety planning and options: 800-799-SAFE (7233).

What can wait

  • You do not need to decide today whether to relocate, change jobs, or confront them.
  • You do not need perfect proof before seeking help; documenting and reporting early is reasonable.
  • You can wait to handle longer-term steps (formal legal help, housing/workplace changes) until you’ve stabilized and have support.

Important reassurance

It’s very common to second-guess yourself when each incident seems “explainable.” Your goal isn’t to win an argument about intent — it’s to stay safe and create options if the behavior continues.

Scope note

These are first steps to reduce immediate risk and prevent panic-driven mistakes. If the behavior continues, consider specialized advocacy and legal support in your area.

Important note

This is general information, not legal advice. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

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