PanicStation.org
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us Sexual violence & highly sensitive situations someone keeps showing up • turns up where i go • keeps appearing in public • unwanted sexual comments • sexual remarks in public • public sexual harassment • repeated unwanted contact • same person keeps appearing • follows me to places • waits near places i go • makes comments about my body • harassment in public spaces • stalking in public • unwanted attention outside • person keeps finding me • unsafe on my routine • scared to go out • repeated public encounters

What to do if…
someone keeps turning up at places you go and making sexual comments in public

Short answer

Treat the pattern as a safety problem, not a misunderstanding you have to solve by yourself. At the earliest safe pause, get around other people, tell one trusted person, document what has happened, and call 911 if you are in immediate danger.

Do not do these things

  • Do not keep minimizing it because each incident seems “small” on its own.
  • Do not meet them alone to try to settle it.
  • Do not announce your plans, route changes, or usual locations publicly.
  • Do not delete messages, voicemails, photos, screenshots, or old notes.
  • Do not pressure yourself to keep every routine unchanged just to avoid inconvenience.
  • Do not assume you need a perfect timeline before speaking to police or a support service.

What to do now

  1. Move to a safer public place and stay near people. A staffed store, front desk, office reception, transit counter, campus office, or busy business is better than heading somewhere isolated while upset.

  2. Tell one person what is happening in direct terms. Say that the same person keeps showing up where you go and making sexual comments in public. Ask them to stay on the phone, meet you, walk with you, or be your check-in person for the next few days.

  3. Make a running record starting now. Write down the date, time, place, what was said or done, whether they seemed to be waiting for you, whether they followed you after, and who might have seen it. Keep screenshots, call logs, photos, or names of witnesses if you already have them.

  4. If you think you are in immediate danger, call 911. If there is no immediate emergency, make a non-emergency police report with your local department and explain that this is repeated unwanted conduct, not a one-off rude comment. A pattern can matter.

  5. Tell the organization connected to the place. If this is happening at school or college, report it to campus security or the school’s Title IX office or coordinator. If it is happening at work, tell HR, a manager, or workplace security. If it is happening in a building, business, gym, or on transit, ask management or security to create an incident record and preserve any relevant video if available.

  6. Make the next few days harder for them to predict. Adjust exact departure times or routes where you reasonably can, avoid leaving alone from known locations, and arrange company for arrivals and departures. The goal is to buy safety, not to prove anything.

  7. Contact a victim advocate for a safety plan. A local victim service provider, VictimConnect, or a sexual violence service such as RAINN can help you think through immediate safety, reporting options, and what details are useful to keep. You can get support whether or not you choose to report.

What can wait

You do not need to decide today whether to seek a restraining order, pursue a workplace or school process, or make a long formal statement. You also do not need to solve the long-term routine problem right now.

Important reassurance

People often doubt themselves when the behaviour happens in public and looks “plausibly accidental” to others. A repeated pattern of showing up and making sexual comments can be frightening and disruptive even when each incident seems explainable on its own.

Scope note

This is first steps only, focused on immediate safety, support, and preserving options. Later decisions may need specialist help.

Important note

This is general information, not personal legal or clinical advice. If you may want to report later, keeping notes and preserving what you already have can help, but your immediate safety comes first. If a child is involved, or the behaviour escalates toward following, threats, or physical contact, contact police urgently.

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