us Death, bereavement & serious family crises custody hearing after death • family court date after bereavement • motion to continue custody hearing • continuance request death in family • upcoming custody court date • court hearing during funeral week • parent died during custody case • emergency reschedule family court • call court clerk continuance • self help center continuance • remote appearance request family court • short notice hearing continuance • self represented custody court • notify other party continuance • proof of bereavement for court • overwhelmed before family court • temporary parenting schedule crisis • missed custody hearing risk

What to do if…
you learn there is a custody or family court date approaching soon after a death

Short answer

Contact your courthouse today (clerk’s office and/or the court’s self-help center) to ask the fastest correct way to request a continuance or remote appearance due to bereavement — then follow that court’s filing and notice steps immediately.

Do not do these things

Don’t assume the hearing will be continued automatically because there’s been a death.
Don’t skip the hearing without learning what the judge decided; orders can be made if you don’t appear.
Don’t send long or angry messages to the other parent; keep everything short, factual, and about scheduling.
Don’t agree to major custody changes “just to make this go away” while you’re in shock.
Don’t overshare private details; “death in my immediate family” is usually enough for the initial request.

What to do now

Pull the basics into one note (10 minutes).
Case number, courthouse location, department/judge (if listed), hearing date/time, and whether it’s in-person or remote. Keep the notice handy.
Use the court’s website first, then call if needed.
On your court’s website, look for: “Family Law,” “Self-Help,” “Help Center,” “Family Law Facilitator,” “Remote Appearance,” and “Continuance / Continue / Reschedule.” Many courts post the exact form name and how to file (e-file, portal, email, in-person).
If it’s not clear, call the clerk or self-help center and ask:
“I have a custody/family law hearing on [date]. There was a death in my immediate family. What is the correct way to request a continuance or remote appearance in this court, and what do I need to file and serve?”
Make the request in the format your court requires (keep it short).
In many places this is called a Motion for Continuance or Request to Continue/Reschedule. Some courts require a written motion; some may decide the request only when your case is called.
Your request should usually include:
- case caption/case number and the hearing date
- “death in the immediate family” and the impact (funeral arrangements/travel, inability to prepare)
- what you are asking for: a short continuance or permission to appear remotely
- any realistic confirmation you can provide now or a sentence stating you can provide documentation when available
Notify the other party (or their attorney) right away, and keep proof.
Example: “A death occurred in my immediate family. Today I requested a continuance/remote appearance for the [date] hearing. I’ll update you as soon as the court responds.”
If attorneys are involved, communicate attorney-to-attorney if possible.
Ask for agreement if that’s allowed in your court (it can speed things up).
Some courts accept a stipulated/agreed continuance request (still subject to the judge). If you can do this safely, ask the other side (or their attorney) whether they will agree to a continuance or remote appearance.
Have a fallback plan if the judge won’t move the date in time.
- If you can’t attend in person, request remote appearance and ask for the access instructions.
- Prepare a short statement to read: the bereavement, what you’re asking for, and what you can realistically do right now.
- If you must attend, arrive early, bring the notice, and be ready to renew the request at the start.
If the death affects the child’s immediate care situation, say that clearly and ask for “minimum stability” orders.
If the person who died was a caregiver/household adult or the death disrupts the child’s day-to-day care, explain the short-term impact and ask the court for the minimum temporary direction needed until everyone can participate fully.

What can wait

You do not need to decide long-term custody outcomes while you’re in acute grief.
You do not need to draft perfect paperwork today; you need a correct request and proof you acted promptly.
You can postpone detailed negotiations, longer declarations, and bigger proposals until the court sets a new schedule or gives directions.

Important reassurance

When grief collides with a court date, panic is a normal response. The stabilizing steps are practical: contact the court, make the correct continuance/remote request for your courthouse, notify the other side, and avoid irreversible decisions while you’re overwhelmed.

Scope note

This is first-steps-only guidance for the immediate days around a hearing date. Ongoing strategy and final custody orders may require a licensed family law attorney in your state.

Important note

This is general information, not legal advice. Continuance and remote appearance rules vary widely by state, county, and judge. Follow the instructions on your hearing notice and your court’s website, and confirm with the clerk or self-help center what you must file and how you must notify the other party.

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What to do if…you learn there is a custody or family court date approaching soon after a death