PanicStation.org
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us Death, bereavement & serious family crises transfer remains request • move the body request • funeral home request sudden • mortuary calling about remains • unexpected funeral director contact • someone says they have the body • burial transit permit question • transport across state lines • repatriation request unsure • ashes shipping request • suspicious invoice after death • bereavement scam concern • is this legitimate call • verify funeral home license • next of kin authorization question • pressure to pay for transport • unknown firm contacting family • medical examiner custody question

What to do if…
you receive a request to transfer a loved one’s remains after they die and you are unsure it is legitimate

Short answer

Put the transfer on hold and verify independently by calling the facility that should have custody (hospital, medical examiner/coroner, or the funeral home you chose) using a trusted number you find yourself.

Do not do these things

  • Do not authorize a removal/transfer or sign release forms until you confirm who currently has custody.
  • Do not pay by wire, gift card, cryptocurrency, or “urgent invoice” links — especially under time pressure.
  • Do not share Social Security numbers, passports, or copies of IDs with an unverified person or business.
  • Do not allow “a courier” to pick anything up from your home related to the death (documents, cash, valuables).
  • Do not trust caller ID, email addresses, or official-looking PDFs as proof of legitimacy.

What to do now

  1. Create a safe pause. Say: “I’m not authorizing anything right now. I will call back through official contact information.” Then end the call/message.
  2. Record the details. Who contacted you, business name, phone/email, their claimed location, what they want moved (body vs. cremated remains), destination, cost, and any deadlines.
  3. Confirm custody using a trusted route.
    • If the death occurred in a hospital or care facility: call the hospital main number from its official website and ask for decedent affairs/morgue.
    • If a medical examiner/coroner is involved: call the county office through the county’s official website.
    • If you already selected a funeral home: call that funeral home using the number you already know (not one provided by the caller).
  4. Verify the funeral home is real and licensed (state-based).
    • Ask for the business’s full legal name, physical address, and license number.
    • Check the license via your state funeral board/licensing authority (many states have an online lookup). If the lookup is confusing, call the state board using the phone number on its official site.
    • If you can’t find the business in the state’s records, treat the request as unverified and stop.
  5. Ask the custodian what is actually required for any transfer.
    • “Do you have any authorization on file from next of kin?”
    • “Which funeral home is listed as the receiving funeral home, and who requested the transfer?”
    • “What documents are required for transportation here (for example, a disposition/burial-transit permit), and who usually files them?”
  6. If the request involves bringing remains into the U.S. from another country, slow down further.
    • Ask your chosen funeral home what they need from you, and consider contacting U.S. consular officials in the country where the death occurred.
    • Do not proceed until you understand the required documents for entry (for example, death certificate and other paperwork that may be required depending on the situation).
  7. If you already paid or shared personal information, limit harm immediately.
    • Contact your bank/card issuer using the number on your card/app and ask about stopping/reversing the payment.
    • Change the password of the email account you used for death-related messages and turn on two-factor authentication.
  8. Report the suspicious contact.
    • Report scams or suspicious business practices to the Federal Trade Commission (you can report even if you didn’t lose money).
    • If you believe an active crime is happening (someone is attempting pickup right now, threats, etc.), contact local law enforcement.

What can wait

  • You do not need to decide final arrangements today in order to verify custody and legitimacy.
  • You do not need to respond to pressure, deadlines, or repeated calls — verifying through official channels comes first.
  • You do not need to send documents “just to get started.” Legitimate providers can wait while you confirm.

Important reassurance

Pressure and urgency are common tactics in scams, and grief makes it harder to assess risk quickly. It is reasonable to pause, independently verify, and require clear proof before anything moves.

Scope note

This is first-steps-only guidance to prevent an irreversible mistake and help you confirm custody and legitimacy. Later steps (complaints, reimbursement, legal questions, interstate/international transport rules) may require local professional help.

Important note

This is general information, not legal advice. Requirements for permits, transport, and licensing vary by state and county. When in doubt, rely on the facility with custody and your state’s licensing board.

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